


our house (is a very, very, very fine house)

by markrenton



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Drug Use, Fluff and Angst, Humor, M/M, Music, and all the boys but not as much as these boys
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-27
Updated: 2016-10-27
Packaged: 2018-08-27 09:26:10
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 16,869
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8396377
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/markrenton/pseuds/markrenton
Summary: The one where Kwon Soonyoung loves classic rock and meets Jeon Wonwoo, who does too, and how his life goes from hard to easy in the span of five months.(“There was this guy with amazing eyes at the shop yesterday,” he tells Jihoon over breakfast, while the other is stuffing his mouth with toast. Soonyoung taps his cigarette to let the ash fall neatly into the circular glass bowl. “That so?” Jihoon responds, lacking interest. “Yeah. I hope he comes back.”).





	

**Author's Note:**

> wow, look at we have here!
> 
> alright, a few words first for some people i cherish
> 
> cat, ao3 user allthatconfetti. i can’t even begin to explain how much you mean to me. what started as a fun chat about possible soonwoo au ideas turned into what i refer to as our baby and my gratitude is beyond words so it’s a little difficult to find what i can say about you in the dictionary. above the fact that you are an amazing writer and beta you are the most incredible friend and i am so, so happy i got to share this with you and experience writing this with you, and i don’t think i possibly could have had a better beta. you encourage me to keep writing every day. i adore you and thank you for not only bringing soonwoo into my life but also for just being yourself and being a wonderful friend. this is an early birthday present for you even though you’ve already read every part of this fic, and i love you the mostest. let’s write more musical pain together!
> 
> em, ao3 user oldestcomputer. ahhhhhh, where do i even start, honestly. remember when i commented on wiped out! and you thought i was coming to twitter to yell at you??? anyway, i love you so much and without you i probably wouldn’t have been here right now. i live for our chats and i live for your comments. thank you for inspiring me and helping me find my way into this little ficdom and accepting me within a heartbeat and making me feel right at home the second we started chatting. i hope you remember how much i value our friendship and how much i respect you as a writer. thank you. <3
> 
> a few more people id like to thank- laylah, for answering stupid questions for me, anna, elisa, and kayla for reading my snippets and supporting me and helping me throughout writing this. i love you all so so much. 
> 
> so, this is my contribution to the small group of people who love snwu and made me feel like a family member just as i knocked on the door. thank you and i hope you have fun reading! i had fun writing. be sure to listen to the songs linked!

_Staring at the fire,_

_For hours and hours,_

_While I listen to you_

_Play your love songs_

_All night long_

_For me. Only for me._

 

The first time Soonyoung sees him doesn’t last very long. It’s a brief moment, but it feels like forever in a bottle. He mostly remembers a sharp pair of eyes contributing to a sharp feeling in his abdomen, but since the guy leaves right away, Soonyoung doesn’t get a chance to do anything about the encounter- not that he would have.

Right?

When he first starts working at the record shop, every day is slow- now, it’s the opposite. It seems as though records are back in style, trendy again, so the shop has gotten busier with customers, resulting in longer working hours and a slightly larger paycheck. He doesn’t complain. (Only when high school girls come in and ask if they have G-Dragon on vinyl.  
  
It’s a goddamn foreign record shop. How can people be that daft?)

Obviously, they stocked Beyoncé- and he can't lie, he adores her- but his favorite parts of the shop were most definitely the sections of classic rock, indie pop and alternative bullshit he barely mentions to anyone. It's almost a sacred place for him, a small, slightly hidden temple, full of- ‘baby’, repeated a thousand times a minute, guitar riffs, music you can't help but dance to, Belle and Sebastian, and music to cry to like to, The Smiths. There are tracks he likes to keep to himself, buried in his heart, away from the rest of reality; lyrics which hit the exact spot and make the hairs on Soonyoung’s arms go fuzzy.

_When he's strong, he's strong for you- and when you kiss, it's something new. But did you ever call my name, just by mistake?_

Oh, come on. “[Letter to Hermione](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vIBO7XS7pe8)”? He can't be this lame right now. That’s his heartbreak song.

—

The day after is slow. Soonyoung wanders around the shop aimlessly, picking up random records, minding the year and checking inventory for no reason since they haven't even gotten a new shipment yet— he's fixing the Hot New Records section in alphabetical order when his eyes spot slender fingers and a familiar face on _The Velvet Underground & Nico _ (a fantastic album). Their eyes meet again. Sharp, dark and deep; Soonyoung feels ready to disappear. In them, that is. Those eyes.

(“There was this guy with amazing eyes at the shop yesterday,” he tells Jihoon over breakfast, while the other is stuffing his mouth with toast. Soonyoung taps his cigarette to let the ash fall neatly into the circular glass bowl.

“That so?” Jihoon responds, lacking interest.

“Yeah. I hope he comes back.”).

Soonyoung shifts his attention away from the album the guy has his fingers dancing on, up to the stranger’s face. Soonyoung gives him a grin, or maybe a smirk, raising his eyebrows in a sign of appreciation and approval. When their eyes lock again, Soonyoung’s throat suddenly feels dry, like someone shoved sand into his mouth; his palms feel sweaty and he hopes with all of his might that his cheeks aren't dusting a nice, embarrassing shade of pink.

Soonyoung grows more and more intrigued, especially after the guy leaves the shop without buying that record (or anything, for that matter), without even saying a word. It’s pretty rude, staring at someone and leaving without saying anything, Soonyoung thinks.

The Stranger, as Soonyoung now calls him, doesn’t come the next day. Soonyoung spends his work time waltzing around the store pretending not to be waiting for him to show up (because in Soonyoung’s mind, hey, two days in a row guarantee the third day, right?), but nothing happens. He ends his shift defeated and hungry, walking back to his apartment. How could it possibly be this cold right now?

He shoves his key onto the lock and opens the door, announcing his arrival to his roommate with a disgruntled sound as he locks the door behind him. Jihoon is sitting on the sofa, watching TV, blank expression morphing into one with slightly-raised eyebrows.  
  
Soonyoung eats last night’s takeout leftovers and goes to bed, falling asleep with Jihoon’s face imprinted on the back of his eyelids.

He wakes up late and has to rush through his morning routine, and soon it’s already twelve and he hasn’t left for work yet. He grabs his bag and slings it over his shoulder, entering the living room just as Junhui, Jihoon’s boyfriend (long and blonde and beautiful), leans down to press a gentle kiss to Jihoon’s smiling lips.

Soonyoung swallows. (He never made Jihoon smile like that.)

“I’m already late, no time for breakfast or lunch or even brunch,” he says glibly as he walks past the two, who were still wearing t-shirts and pajama pants. There is a fixed grin across Soonyoung’s lips, and he averts his eyes until he leaves the apartment. He closes the door behind him and leans against it for a moment, holding his face in his hands, breathing in and out slowly, calming himself down- _get a fucking grip._

He’s tired but he has to work. Not being able to go through his routine fucks up his body rhythm, and he forgets entirely about the prospects of The Stranger coming into the shop today. It’s just when he leans against the counter--slouched at his stool, palm under his chin, a bored pout on his face--when he sees him. His chin slips from underneath his palm and he almost falls from his stool at the shock of seeing him again; he manages to gather his composure. He’s ready this time.

Soonyoung marches over to the other side of the counter, where he’s prepared a little something in case the Stranger decides to bless him again with his presence (his unbelievably attractive presence): Pink Floyd’s _The Piper at The Gates of Dawn_. He’s been hiding this specific record in storage just in case anything happens to his own copy, so it takes him the better part of an hour to fish out. He doesn’t quite trust (most of) his friends with his belongings. He approaches the Stranger, armed with the record and the most confidence he could muster when, for the first time, he hears the Stranger speak.

Quite loudly, actually.

“I already have that one.”

Soonyoung freezes, almost comically - he doesn’t know where to bury himself. He’s in a bit of shock, to be honest. No one has this album! It’s his bulletproof plan, his _I’m impressive_ , _I know my shit_ album. What the _fuck_ is he going to do now?

  
And more importantly: _who is this guy_?

  
He stands in front of the Stranger, flustered and silent, swallowing thickly. Even in his prolonged state of panic, he still notices a variety of things: the difference in height between them, how he has to tilt his head up to look the other in the eye, and the Stranger’s lips, pink, looking very soft. Inviting.

Soonyoung shakes his head, distracted, and is about to open his mouth and say something, although he doesn’t know what exactly, when the Stranger speaks again, voice quieter this time, but still stiff, syllables harsh and fast.

“-but, I just gave my friend my _Led Zeppelin_ by Led Zeppelin record. I could use another one.”  
  
Soonyoung can’t stop the smile spreading across his lips, the expanse of it almost violently wide. He nods ferociously, blurting out, “We have that,” but not moving an inch, staying in his spot, eyes glued to the guy in front of him. Shit. He knows Zeppelin. He’s given Zeppelin away. He’s gorgeous _and_ generous.

The Stranger smiles back (Soonyoung feels warmer).

Another half minute passes between them in silence as they stare at each other, both basically speechless, perhaps trying to come up with witty enough retorts to impress the other, to no avail.  
  
“Then I’ll go,” he hesitates, “get that.”  
  
Is what Soonyoung should have said. Instead, it’s the Stranger who says it, the Stranger who is most certainly the customer and not the record shop employee like Soonyoung is and Soonyoung is letting a beautiful man who might possibly be flirting with him _get the record he needs by himself._

What Soonyoung does say:

  
“Okay.”

“Okay.”

Soonyoung watches the guy find the album and line up at the cash register. The guy (technically he’s no longer a Stranger since they’ve spoken; that totally counts) pays for _Led Zeppelin_ , smiles and waves at him awkwardly, before leaving the shop.  
  
Oh, shit. Soonyoung still doesn’t know his name.

\----------------------

Soonyoung lies on his bed, _[I Can’t Quit You Baby](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=29PSPafL54o)_ on full volume, and he wails in time with Robert Plant.  
  
“He’s the only person who understands me,” he yells at his roommate sitting at the table in the living room, working on a surprise email quiz from his professor.

“You don’t even know his _name_ , ” Jihoon snaps back, letting out a frustrated grunt. “In what world does X equal twenty three? I have to do this all over again.”  
  
“Names aren’t required when it comes to love, Jihoon-ah,” Soonyoung cries dramatically from his room, placing his hands under his head as he stares at the ceiling and it stares back.

Soonyoung hears the other get up from his chair and stomp towards Soonyoung’s room. Soonyoung angles his head towards the door and sure enough, Jihoon is leaning against the frame, arms crossed against his chest--a very well known _I’m pissed off_ gesture in Jihoon language, which, of course, Soonyoung is fluent in. A bad sign.  
  
“Ask for his name. And then ask for his number. And then—ask him out. You fucking lunatic.”

Soonyoung makes a face at Jihoon and rubs the back of his neck before his roommate and long lost love slams the door to his room shut and Soonyoung returns to lying on his bed, face down, grunting against the pillow.

He falls asleep thinking about a smile that makes him warm. And for once, it's not his roommate’s.

 

—

 

It seems like he's just getting luckier now, because the Guy comes back the following day— he even comes up to Soonyoung this time, and Soonyoung doesn’t feel like a total moron. They smile at each other he walks into the shop. Soonyoung is a fast learner; he leans against the main counter close to the cash register, licking his lips, fearing the sand-in-throat sensation will come back.

“Hi.”

There’s still a kind of awkwardness, but it’s slightly more familiar this time. “Hey. I’m Soonyoung.”

The Guy grins, and it feels like he approves of his name—  somehow. People often tell him his name matched his personality. “I'm Wonwoo. Jeon Wonwoo.”

“Wonwoo,” Soonyoung repeats his name, thinks about the way it sounds on his tongue. He kind of likes it (very much). “In that case, I’m Soonyoung. Kwon Soonyoung. License to kill.” He even adds a little pose at the end. Wonwoo chuckles, and Soonyoung can't help but join him, the situation between them so surreal and absurd; they laugh much harder than the joke was funny.

After their laughter dies down, Soonyoung decides to cut the silence with a knife.

“You were checking _The Velvet Underground & Nico _ the other day, but you didn't get it.”

“I already have that album too.”

Soonyoung raises his eyebrows at him, nodding.

“So, what, you were just looking around to have an excuse to see me?” Soonyoung flutters his eyelashes, voice sugary and dripping.

“To be honest… yes, I was,” Wonwoo says on a sigh.

Soonyoung eyes widen as he stares at Wonwoo, feeling himself tinting with color at the other’s blunt honesty. Damn, cuts like a blade. “You're pretty forward.” Their smiles almost mirror each other’s, and Wonwoo looks at Soonyoung with such an overwhelming aura of casual, almost nonchalant, confidence that Soonyoung is now a billion times more attracted to him. (He isn't sure if this is just about sex, although... he wouldn't mind. Then again, Soonyoung can't possibly let a guy with such awesome taste in music be _just sex._ It's against all code. Jihoon would kill him).

Wonwoo shrugs. “I’ve been told that before.”

Soonyoung checks Wonwoo’s face for a frown, but it’s not there. His voice is deep, and it makes Soonyoung’s stomach clench. It doesn’t feel like his voice really matches Wonwoo’s character; the guy seems a lot softer.

“You could also, you know. Ask me out, then. There are much nicer places to talk than this place.”

Wonwoo grins at Soonyoung like he thinks, _this guy is funny_. “And I’m forward?”

Soonyoung smiles back at him, the same thought rushing through his mind. “Yes. Your flirting could really use an update. You flirt like an old man.”

Wonwoo scoffs and crosses his arms against his chest, suddenly reminding Soonyoung of Jihoon. “Oh, shut up.” Soonyoung chuckles, shaking his head.

“It’s cool. You still won me over.”

Wonwoo looks satisfied. “Then...”

Soonyoung glances around before leaning over from behind the counter, licking his lips and trying to stop a triumphant smirk from plastering itself on his face. “Come back in four hours,” he whispers conspiratorially. “That’s when my shift ends. You could take me out for pork belly over the amount of records you _didn’t buy._ Deal?”  
  
“Deal.”

—

Wonwoo does come back four hours later. Soonyoung is already waiting for him in front of the locked shop, gloves on and coat collar up (covering what it can). It gets colder the closer to December they get, but it's not snowing just yet. He’s sucking at a cigarette to get some warmth on his lips just as Wonwoo turns the corner, looking just as attractive as he did four hours earlier in a black wool coat, black jeans and round glasses. Soonyoung smiles around the bud as he takes a drag.

“Hi.”

Fuck.

“Does it make you feel warmer?” Soonyoung hands his cigarette to Wonwoo, who takes it from him without hesitation, pressing the filter to his lips.

“In an imaginary way.” Wonwoo smiles at him again and it's that same smile that makes Soonyoung feel warm up to his ears. Soonyoung wants to take him up to his apartment right now, but he has an itch to get to know him, and he intends to scratch it.

“You're paying, right?”

Wonwoo nods.

“Awesome, let's go,” Soonyoung starts walking away from the shop, expecting Wonwoo to follow him–and he does. And it's almost cute.

“So,” Wonwoo mumbles under his breath, making Soonyoung glance away from the concrete under his feet to the other’s face. “Is this a date?” Wonwoo’s eyes, slanted down, flicker up and the expression is so hopeful, Soonyoung swears they are _sparkling._

Soonyoung chuckles and pouts his lips, tongue running over his teeth. “We’ll see about that.”

“Harsh.”

“Calm down there, boy. Don't get ahead of yourself.”

—

They go to a local family restaurant Soonyoung frequents, just on the outskirts of the neighborhood, where both locals and strangers come together. Wonwoo isn't familiar with the place, so Soonyoung shows him around, feeling excited that he’s showing Wonwoo new things, especially new things he loves.

They order pork belly just like Soonyoung requested earlier, adding a serving of chicken (looking at the menu, they couldn't resist). Something about the tea being served and the kids at the next table loudly debating about cartoon characters and just the absurdity of the situation has both of them giggling.

“So, Jeon Wonwoo,” Soonyoung starts, laughter bubbling out of the both of them before he even has the chance to start his sentence.

Wonwoo nods, chuckling around the food in his mouth.

“Who are you?”

Wonwoo clears his throat and blinks, hesitating, but Soonyoung remains determined in his inquiry. Wonwoo swallows down the bite he has in his mouth and looks at Soonyoung with an almost _cheeky_ expression.

“I’m twenty one years old. I'm a student. I major in Business. Minor in Creative Writing.”

Soonyoung nods. He's always felt bad he never went to college, but he hopes Wonwoo doesn't notice.

Wonwoo laughs again. “I’m your typical college boy.” (Soonyoung likes his laugh).

“A Business major owns _Piper At The Gates Of Dawn_ ,” Soonyoung hums. “I would have never imagined.”

Wonwoo rolls his eyes. “Just because I’m doing what my parents want me to do, doesn't mean I have to listen to the music they want me to.”

“Ach, Jeon Wonwoo. That was deep.”

“Stop talking while you eat, you'll choke.”

Soonyoung looks at him like he wants to kiss him, and he thinks Wonwoo can tell. He shuts up.

—

They finish their food and settle comfortably on the carpet their table stands on, holding warm cups of tea in their hands. Talking to Wonwoo turns out to be incredibly easy; conversation flows almost continuously, their retorts and repartee matching each other’s word for word. Soonyoung finds that he really enjoys being around him, their proximity making him feel even warmer than his smile.  
  
At some point, they decide that sitting next to each other is better than sitting in front of each other, and they manage to scoot closer without anyone around them becoming too suspicious. Soonyoung has learned a while ago that being discreet is more important than getting what he wants. Wonwoo appears to agree with him.  
  
The restaurant empties slowly, but they remain seated, wrapped in their own little world. Soonyoung tells Wonwoo how he started working at the record shop and why he was there in the first place.

“I just always liked music. And I knew college wasn’t for me,” Soonyoung feels the tea settle in his stomach as he muses about his memories. Wonwoo plays with his fingers under the table while shooting a look of such deep interest at Soonyoung, he fears he might stumble on his words. Even though it’s warm inside, Wonwoo’s fingers are still freezing against Soonyoung’s own. “My family didn’t like the kind of music I did, though.” He lets out an embarrassed, almost sad, snicker.

“Anyway, I just left home. Got an apartment with a highschool friend. _He_ goes to college.” Wonwoo’s thumb and index finger trail up Soonyoung’s own index finger, and it’s intimate enough to make him swallow.

Woonwoo stares at him like he wants to tell him something, but he doesn’t know how. Soonyoung appreciates it either way. “It’s been about a year and a half now.” Wonwoo smiles, and it’s not even close to pity. That’s usually what people give him, and Soonyoung despises it, yet with Wonwoo, all he receives is radiating comfort, compassion. (He’s not exactly sure how that makes him feel but he’ll think about it later)

Soonyoung’s never really had a heart to heart talk with anyone--he doesn’t know how. Even if he does, he distracts or lightens the mood with laughter and jokes and silliness, preferring to have people laugh with him than at him. Wonwoo breaks through the wall he creates, and it irks him.

(Jihoon does that too.)

“You’re really quiet.”

Wonwoo breaks out of the trance he’s in and glances up at him. Soonyoung feels the hairs at the back of his neck standing, he’s not sure why.  
  
“I don’t talk much when I’m nervous.”  
  
“You’re nervous?”  
  
“Yeah.”

Soonyoung licks his lips. “Why?”  
  
“Because I want to kiss you.”

Soonyoung’s cheeks shade with color and he’s incredibly thankful the restaurant is dimly lit. He wants to tell him _Okay_ but he knows they can’t. Not here, not now. A married couple seated only a few meters from them sneak looks at them, and Soonyoung’s jaw clenches as he mouths at Wonwoo _Not here._

The other nods at him and they end up scooting a little further away from each other. Wonwoo asks for the check for their meal- he’s extremely polite, Soonyoung can’t help but notice, and he’s forced to contain himself.

They leave the restaurant after saying thank you so many times Soonyoung is still repeating the phrase in his mind as they exit, almost analyzing it to the point that they don’t sound like words anymore. He lives close by, so Wonwoo insists on walking him home– Soonyoung wants to protest and tell him it's already so late, that he needs to get home too, but he keeps his mouth shut. He could stand another ten to fifteen minutes in Wonwoo's company.

“So,” Soonyoung says as they finally reach the door to his building. His watch reads that it’s already past midnight. They stand right in front of the entrance, hesitant, almost as if they're both wondering about what should happen next.

“So.” Wonwoo's voice is still deep, quiet, but not as calm. It makes Soonyoung hold back a smile.

It's not exceptionally magical. It's not what movies show them, books. Their lips meet and Soonyoung has to tilt his head up and slightly stand on his toes– Wonwoo's taller, probably more than a centimeter or two, but he likes that. Both of their lips are chapped and cold, and it stings when they touch, but it doesn't prevent them from deepening the kiss. It's slow, how Wonwoo's mouth opens against his, their breaths colliding and their teeth too, before Wonwoo's tongue brushes against his upper lip, and then inside his mouth, against his own. Soonyoung feels like he's made of electricity, stiff and strong and burning at the tips of his fingers. Every part of his body warms up--his ears, his cheeks, his chest, even the skin around his eyeballs. Wonwoo’s intention is evident in his kiss, shallow breaths against Soonyoung’s mouth when they part, in the way he doesn't move, large hands finding security in Soonyoung’s shoulders, holding firm but not too tight.

He hears something.

Soonyoung murmurs against the other’s mouth, “Can you hear that?”

“Hear what?” He gets a sloppy reply, swallowed syllables.

“[The song](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9ZEURntrQOg).”

“Song?”

“I can see me loving nobody but you–” he starts, accent amplified after his breath’s been kissed away. He repeats sounds from memory rather than saying words he's familiar with in the English language.

“–for all my life,” Wonwoo continues his sentence for him, as Soonyoung’s hand find the back of Wonwoo’s neck, squeezing lightly.

They hum in unison like this, foreheads pressed together, to the song playing from somewhere unknown. Maybe it's not really playing, but still they sing.

(“When you're with me, baby the skies’ll be blue, for all my life...”)

“Wonwoo,” Soonyoung eventually murmurs, pulling away only enough to get a good look at the other’s face. “You can't come up.”

Wonwoo looks disappointed, but not entirely. He gives Soonyoung a small nod, _I understand,_ and kisses Soonyoung again, a gentle press to his cheek, and it lingers for what feels like an eternity, until he draws back, extricating himself from Soonyoung’s arms.

“Okay. Go up, and listen to ‘ _[Don't Talk, Put Your Head On My Shoulder](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gikGLzkKElw)_ ’. That's from me to you.”

Soonyoung doesn't know the song. He nods, enchanted by the other still, and the ghosting feeling of lips against his own.

—

Soonyoung walks up the stairs, dragging himself– he's not tired, or in pain, just in a state of something like shock. It was almost like Wonwoo took all of his energy with that one kiss, and he needs more kisses to get all that energy back.

For a moment, Soonyoung contemplates maybe running back down and telling Wonwoo that he’s changed his mind, that he should come up. (He is shameless, honestly)

No, no. _He's a strong man._

He unlocks the door and takes his shoes off as he steps inside the apartment quietly, conscious that it was already thirty minutes past midnight and he wasn’t sure if Jihoon was already sleeping or not. As he treads past the the hallway, he sees Jihoon on the couch, watching something he probably doesn’t really care about. The shorter man gets into an upright position once he notices Soonyoung, raising his eyebrows at him.

“Well? How’d it go?”

Soonyoung shakes his head at him. “I mustn't. It’ll spoil the magic.”

Jihoon snickers, before he returns to his television viewing, lying down and leaning against his elbow. “Alright, hot stuff. Let me know when you don’t care about breaking the spell.”

  
“Will do, babydoll.”

Soonyoung walks to his bedroom and shuts the door behind him, stumbling as he falls onto his bed, ending up staring at the ceiling. Again. It’s different this time--the ceiling doesn’t stare back, like it usually does. Maybe it’s him.

He fishes his phone from his pocket along with his earbuds, and connects them sloppily together, pressing them into his ears before searching for the song Wonwoo asked him to listen to. He’s been repeating the title in his mind the entire walk up the stairs all the way to his room.

_I can hear so much in your sighs. And I can see so much in your eyes. There are words we both could say- but don’t talk. Put your head on my shoulder, come close. Close your eyes, and be still. Don’t talk-_

_Take my hand. And let me hear your heartbeat._

Soonyoung listens to the song, over and over again, until he falls asleep.

 

—

They meet everyday over the next two weeks, whether it’s after Soonyoung’s shift, or before Wonwoo’s early class--they find the time. They go on ‘dates’- Soonyoung doesn’t like using that word, but reconsiders when he sees the overjoyed expression Wonwoo’s face when he texts him _let’s go on a movie date_ while sitting next to each other _.  
  
( _ Soonyoung saves Wonwoo’s number under _Jimmy Page_ _._ Wonwoo saves him under _[Robert Plant](https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-zzm-PgzPmR0/V467xuH3enI/AAAAAAAAEB8/oxvni-ODRd8-fyBRcNb_lQxkyaovU381ACLcB/s1600/1401x788-465557367.jpg)_ _)._

He agrees to go, obviously. They go see _Deadpool_ , and even though Soonyoung has already seen it, he hypes Wonwoo on the way back from the cinema as they keep yelling at each other about how many times Wade Wilson broke the fourth wall during the movie.

Soonyoung doesn’t really pay attention while the movie is playing, though. He’s too busy admiring the way Wonwoo’s side profile cuts through space, the way his eyes sparkle behind round, silver glasses. Thankfully, it’s dark enough inside the theatre for Wonwoo not to notice.  
  
Soonyoung’s playlist during the week consists of a variety of British Invasion bands (they seem to convey the particular mood he’s in) but it’s mostly The Beatles. [This one song](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IJ6bAHOvPH0) in particular is on repeat, so much that he even starts humming it at work. One of the other employees at the shop stares at him from the corner of her eye, and Soonyoung smiles at her sheepishly, swallowing away his embarrassment

  
“For if I ever saw you, I didn’t catch your name... But it never really mattered, I will always feel the same...”

 

He sings quietly under his breath as he sweeps the storage room floor, the broom his microphone.

\---------

  
Two days after the movie date (which included two other dates: a coffee shop date _and_ a bubble tea date. They aren’t very original, but they try), Wonwoo invites Soonyoung to his apartment to bake cookies for Halloween. Soonyoung made the brave decision to invite him to his and Jihoon’s annual (which started last year) Halloween party. Well, Jihoon insisted he invite him. So Soonyoung does, and Wonwoo freaks out.

“A party?”

Soonyoung snickers. “Yes, a party. You heard of those?”

Wonwoo frowns at him, making Soonyoung sigh.

“Calm down, it’s only going to be Jihoon, Junhui, Minghao, Hansol, Seokmin and us. You gotta get to know my friends at some point.”  
  
Wonwoo pauses. “Do you realize what you’ve just said?”  
  
“Shut your mouth.”  
  
“We have to bake cookies,” Wonwoo says suddenly, looking away as if he has some great epiphany. “Are you free Thursday?”

(Soonyoung can’t stop laughing for fifteen minutes; Wonwoo flicks boba at him.)

  
Wonwoo gives him his address and Soonyoung shows up after his shift ends (but after he goes home to take a shower, and change clothes). He knocks on the door, not exactly sure why he’s so nervous, but he is. Wonwoo hasn’t been to his apartment yet, but that’s only because there isn’t much privacy there.  
  
Wonwoo opens the door, wearing a white t-shirt that looks so incredibly good on him in the simplest way, Soonyoung almost envies him his body type for a moment. He pairs it with normal black sweatpants and Soonyoung can’t understand how someone can wear something so non-descript and look _this good._ It kind of freaks him out. After he’s done appreciating the man in front of him, he notices he’s holding a cat in his arms.  
  
“Oh. Hello. And hello,” he says first to Wonwoo and then the cat, chuckling as he takes his shoes off at the door and enters the apartment. It’s warm, and the lighting is nice and yellow, making Soonyoung feel cozy the second he steps in. Pots of plants and flowers are scattered around the living room on various tables--the dining room table and a nice, low, mahogany coffee table, resting in front of a black suede couch. An electric fireplace is on, explaining why Wonwoo’s barely dressed. Suddenly, it hits Soonyoung very hard how obviously Wonwoo comes from money. He swallows that thought down his throat.  
  
“Are we seriously going to bake cookies?” Soonyoung shrugs his bag off his shoulders, placing it carefully on the couch before taking off his coat and following Wonwoo into the kitchen. It’s twice as big as his and Jihoon’s, and fully equipped- there’s shit here Soonyoung hasn’t seen his entire life.  “I’m not much a cook,” Soonyoung confesses as he examines the assortment of baking trays and related contraptions sitting on the counter, rubbing the back of his neck.

He turns around and Wonwoo surprises him with a kiss to his lips, which Soonyoung happily accepts, pressing a hand against Wonwoo’s chest as they break apart with a smile. “You have a cat.”  
  
Wonwoo grins, nodding. “I have two.”

“Two? You have two cats?” Soonyoung lets out a cackle.

Wonwoo, hands on Soonyoung’s shoulders, holding him in place, nods again. “Yes. Salt and Pepper.”

Soonyoung’s eyes curve as he smiles at Wonwoo. “Seriously?”  
  
“Salt is white and Pepper is black,” Wonwoo explains, in a faux offended tone.  
  
“You’re cute.” Soonyoung smiles at Wonwoo, unable to hide his fondness; he receives another kiss, this time on his nose.

They start baking. Well, Wonwoo starts baking. Soonyoung just hands him whatever he asks for- milk, eggs, flour... some kind of cream. They make bat and pumpkin cookies, Soonyoung helping out Wonwoo with the icing, carefully holding the drizzle thingy as orange vanilla icing spreads across the surface of a pumpkin shaped butter cookie.

He stops when he feels something cold. He places the nozzle down and straightens, running his hand over the spot on his nose and staring at the orange icing on his fingertips, a giggling Wonwoo standing next to him. He raises an eyebrow and sucks at his index finger, staring directly at the other, whose laughter dies down and whose expression changes in a heartbeat, eyes unblinking, focused on Soonyoung’s mouth. The latter keeps on with his show, sucking on each digit until he’s satisfied that they’re free of icing. He returns to work, finishing the next batch of cookies.

A few minutes later, Soonyoung pushes the trays of cookies into the oven, and leans against the counter sighing. Suddenly, he feels another body pressing against him, pinning him against the counter, keeping him still. His breath stutters in his throat as strong arms slide around his waist, across his torso. “How, how long ‘till they’re done?” He sounds staggered already.

  
Wonwoo ghosts kisses down the side of Soonyoung’s neck, presses his lips close to his ear. “About an hour and a half,” he says, voice deeper than usual. Soonyoung lets out a quiet breath, tilting his head to give Wonwoo more access, hands now gripping the edge of the counter.  
  
The air between them is suddenly heavy with tension. It’s existed since their first encounter, but right now it’s heightened and amplified, and it makes Soonyoung grit his teeth. He feels every part of Wonwoo’s body against him, the other’s hands grasping at the fabric of Soonyoung’s shirt bunching up against his abdomen. Soonyoung laughs, breathlessly, head lolling on Wonwoo’s shoulder.  
  
“What are you doing?” he murmurs, quiet, trying his best not to lose control and press back.  
  
Wonwoo hums against his skin, and Soonyoung feels it reverberate through him. “Making use of the time we have.”  
  
“Jeon Wonwoo, I pegged you for a gentle-,” Wonwoo’s hand slips into his jeans, cutting off Soonyoung mid-sentence as he inhales sharply. He palms Soonyoung over his boxers, and he arches backwards, fully pressed against Wonwoo’s front. The other’s hand is warm, big, and directly on his half-hard dick.  
  
“Yes?” His voice rumbles close to Soonyoung’s ear, and if his hand weren’t down his pants, Soonyoung would have punched him. But it is. And fuck, does it feel good. His hips thrust shallowly against his palm.

“Don’t talk.” Soonyoung manages to maneuver himself and turn around, and the moment he does they kiss; it’s not like their first kiss--it’s sloppy and irresponsible, teeth clacking against each other and tongues in a frenzy. It takes Soonyoung about half a minute to give up his control and let Wonwoo lead. Wonwoo wraps arms around him and places him on the counter, hands trailing low to grip at his thighs and hook Soonyoung’s legs around his waist to pull him closer. Soonyoung complies, gripping tightly onto Wonwoo’s forearms and pressing their hips together, trying to relieve the friction both of them yearned for.

  
Wonwoo is already hard when Soonyoung breaks away from his lips.  
  
“We are not fucking on the counter our first time.”  
  
“I have a bed.” Wonwoo suggests breathlessly as he continues to mouth at Soonyoung’s neck, long and slender fingers tentatively sliding under the hem of Soonyoung shirt, warm against his stomach.  
  
“Wonwoo. Focus,” Soonyoung scolds without much heat, and Wonwoo doesn’t miss a beat- he simply grips Soonyoung’s waist, lifting him from the counter. Soonyoung’s thighs wrap around his hips as they maneuver towards the bedroom, making Soonyoung laugh and bury his face into the other’s neck. He smells so nice, like vanilla, and warmth, and the way plants smell after rain.  
  
Wonwoo pitches them through the doorframe of a dark bedroom and he lays Soonyoung carefully on the bed, hovering over him after taking his glasses off and placing them on the nightstand. He looks at him until Soonyoung feels like he’s being laid bare, cheeks burning. He stares right back, trying to keep his composure, but Wonwoo kisses him again. It’s a little softer this time, gentler, lips pressed together for a while until their mouths open against each other, tongues joining in a beat after.  
  
Soonyoung’s hands roam over Wonwoo’s back, running over the cotton, trying to get him closer and just to feel more of him. Wonwoo is silent except for his hard breathing as he helps Soonyoung tug his shirt over his head, and his lips immediately ghost down his chest, making Soonyoung swallow and stare at the ceiling, head tilted back. Soonyoung isn’t very loud during sex, and it seems like Wonwoo isn’t either (although they’re not having sex, _yet_ ), but it’s getting more and more difficult to keep from reacting to Wonwoo’s ministrations. He tries to suppress a groan when Wonwoo slides a hand at the front of his jeans, undoing the button and pushing the zipper down, and Soonyoung can’t help but smile as he shimmies out of them, Wonwoo tugging them from the bottom.  
  
His boxers disappear along with his jeans, and suddenly he’s stark naked in front of Wonwoo while the other remains clothed. He tries not to be self-conscious, but he does scoot a bit further up the bed, lifting his legs up and bending his knees. Wonwoo is quick to press his legs back down, revealing him again.  
  
“This isn’t fair,” Soonyoung whines, as if it might help him sway Wonwoo.

  
“I disagree,” Wonwoo shrugs, a smirk at the edge of his lips.  
  
“You’re a dick.”  
  
Wonwoo nods at him in agreement before he continues, pressing light kisses against Soonyoung’s abdomen, and suddenly he realizes where this is going. Just the idea of what’s about to happen has Soonyoung’s cock throbbing, and when he looks down, Wonwoo looks extremely satisfied. That shit.

  
Wonwoo’s mouth wraps around the head of his dick and Soonyoung grips the sheets beneath him, legs involuntarily spreading wider and heels digging into the mattress. He mutters a quiet _fuck_ under his breath, and he swears he can feel Wonwoo smirk around him. He takes in more, and more, and Soonyoung can’t focus on anything but the wet warmth between his legs, Wonwoo’s mouth enveloping him completely. (Soonyoung can definitely say that so far, this is the best head he’s ever gotten.)  
  
He can feel Wonwoo’s breath at the base of his cock and it shakes him to his core, his hands moving instinctively to cover his face as a few throaty whines slip past his lips, irresistible. Wonwoo starts bobbing his head, sucking him painstakingly slow, mouth tight around him as his tongue laps at Soonyoung’s shaft in time to some strange beat in his head.  
  
“Wonwoo,” he breathes, and it’s quiet, but the room is so still, he knows Wonwoo hears him.

Wonwoo takes his mouth off him, and when Soonyoung looks down at him, he sees his lips shiny with spit and red and swollen, it takes everything in him to force himself not to come at the very sight. “Yes?” he asks, his voice raspy, like he just had a cock down his throat (oh!), and Soonyoung takes another moment to gather himself before he responds.  
  
“Fuck me?” he asks, voice much more pathetic than he expects, and Wonwoo just grins up at him.  
  
“Okay.”  
  
Soonyoung scrambles to sit up and tugs Wonwoo against him; he presses a kiss to his cheek (Soonyoung appreciates that since he doesn’t really like kissing after oral sex.) He works fast, rolling and making Wonwoo lean against the headboard of his bed, lifting his arms to take his shirt off, tossing it somewhere in his own clothes’ general direction. Wonwoo laughs, and it’s so genuine and sweet, Soonyoung stops for a moment to look at him as he climbs his lap.  
  
“What’s funny?” Soonyoung scoffs, smacking Wonwoo’s chest.

Wonwoo shrugs, still smiling. “You’re in a rush.”  

Soonyoung rolls his eyes at him. “Can you blame me?” He tugs at Wonwoo’s sweatpants to find out he’s not wearing anything under them and he has to breath through his nose and clench his jaw to keep himself relaxed. Wonwoo is already hard, already leaking pre-cum (Soonyoung doesn’t mind, he knows neither of them is going to last too long). He shifts on Wonwoo’s lap to straddle him and wrap his fingers around his cock--he thumbs at the slit, watching Wonwoo’s face as he does, monitoring his responses and reactions, almost unable to take his eyes off the other man’s lips as they part on an exhale, body shivering under Soonyoung’s attention. The sensation is addicting, watching Wonwoo’s expression change, feeling him tremble.  
  
“We need lube. And a condom,” Soonyoung murmurs, fist still circled around Wonwoo as he speaks, trying his best not to lose focus and just stare at Wonwoo’s dick.

  
“In the.. uh, nightstand, top drawer,” Wonwoo breathes out, eyelashes fluttering, and Soonyoung feels that feeling of fondness again, washing over him like a typhoon. He inches closer and presses a gentle kiss to Wonwoo’s lips, as if to wake him up.  
  
Soonyoung stretches and to open the top drawer, fishing around until he grabs bottle of lube and rips a condom from a pack (there were at least ten!), placing them next to him on the bed.  
  
They switch positions again wordlessly, Soonyoung rolling onto his back, and Wonwoo grabs his legs to place them over his shoulders. It makes him laugh at first, but the air changes abruptly as Wonwoo presses a lube coated finger against his entrance, making him gasp quietly. Wonwoo watches him for reassurance and Soonyoung nods, reaching up to hold Wonwoo’s cheek. He breathes in as Wonwoo pushes his finger in up to his first knuckle, breathes out when it’s fully inside him.

  
“Alright?”

  
“Alright.”

Wonwoo adds a second digit, and a third, and Soonyoung starts trembling. The tip of his index finger brushes against his prostate, and Soonyoung grips tightly at the curve between Wonwoo’s neck and his shoulder, opening his eyes. “Now, now,” he urges quietly, and Wonwoo nods, taking his fingers out slowly, careful, always so careful. Soonyoung takes the condom that’s been sitting next to him and delicately opens the wrapper, rolling the condom onto Wonwoo with a smirk.  
  
“Did I tell you you have a very nice dick?” Soonyoung whispers, the air between them close and intimate.  
  
Wonwoo hums, shakes his head as he lowers one hand to position himself. “No.”

  
Soonyoung chuckles. “You have a nice dick.”

  
“Thank you,” Wonwoo smiles back at him, and it’s so warm. Soonyoung leans in just as Wonwoo bends down, and they kiss- it’s not a deep kiss, it doesn’t last very long, but it’s incredibly sweet.  
  
“Okay,” Soonyoung nods at Wonwoo, who presses his lips together before he acquiesces. Wonwoo slowly presses himself into Soonyoung, breathing static and staggered. He keeps nodding, maybe to to reassure the other or just for himself, he isn’t sure. When Wonwoo is completely inside him, Soonyoung opens his eyes and mouths, _move._  
  
His thrusts are steady at first, strong, but cautious. Soonyoung exhales, revels in the sensation, hands gripping at Wonwoo’s shoulders hard enough to leave marks, but Wonwoo doesn’t seem to mind. Wonwoo gains speed, fucking into Soonyoung slow but firm enough for Soonyoung’s breaths to puff out unevenly into his ear. When Wonwoo hits the spot inside him, he lets his forehead fall and press against Wonwoo’s shoulder, a chain of sinful groans escaping him.

  
Wonwoo’s quiet- he breathes hard but he doesn’t groan or moan and somehow it’s the hottest thing Soonyoung has ever witnessed, and every time he presses deep into him he breathes deeply, hips constantly moving, erratic and unsteady. They melt into each other, mouths aligning but not kissing- just breathing against and into each other, swallowing each other’s quiet sounds. Soonyoung moves in time to Wonwoo’s thrusts, and eventually the pressure building inside him becomes too much--he slips his hand between them to squeeze and stroke himself to the rhythm of Wonwoo’s hips, trying his best to focus on Wonwoo’s breathing as well as his dick inside him.  
  
When he comes it surprises him, mouth slacking as he climaxes into his hand and over his and Wonwoo’s stomachs, clenching tightly around Wonwoo cock as his hips thrust and continue to meet the other’s movements, now hard and inconsistent. He feels the other climax inside him about a minute and a half later, the body above him suddenly shuddering, riding out his orgasm until the both of them are practically boneless, incapable of feeling their joints anymore.  
  
Wonwoo falls on top of Soonyoung, and they stay like that for awhile before he rolls off to lie next to him, both of them still panting and sweating. They stay like this awhile, gasping for air until both their heart beats calm down and Soonyoung leans his head against Wonwoo’s shoulder.  
  
“Can you smell that?” Soonyoung asks, eyes half-open and unseeing, barely functioning.  
  
“Oh, shit. The cookies.”  
  
They look at each other and laugh for what feels like twenty minutes straight, and end up falling asleep next to each other, with Wonwoo on his back, Soonyoung pressed up to his side.  
  
Soonyoung wakes up to the sound of water running and a familiar melody. He blinks numerous times in an effort to get the sleep out of his eyes, rubbing at them with his back of his hands, looking around-

Where is he?

Oh. Right. Wonwoo’s apartment. He doesn’t remember falling asleep with a blanket over him, but he wakes up with one draped over him- and no Wonwoo next to him. He straightens into an upright position against the headboard, running fingers through messy, bedhead hair, pushing it out of his eyes.  
  
He can still hear that familiar melody coming from the bathroom inside Wonwoo’s bedroom. The door isn’t completely closed, and Soonyoung tries concentrating his just woken up brain to remember what song he’s hearing.  
  
What he does notice is that the voice following along to the melody is Wonwoo’s deep one, which sounds really nice next to the sound of running water from the shower. It takes him about a few more beats to recognize the song, a smile reaching his lips once he understands what Wonwoo is singing to.  
  
_“I’ve fallen in love! I’ve fallen in love for the first time, this time I know it’s for real, I’ve fallen in love. God knows! God knows I’ve fallen in love.”_ _  
_ _  
_ Oh, how [I want to break free.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f4Mc-NYPHaQ)  
  
Wonwoo comes out of the shower five minutes later, a towel wrapped loosely around his waist. Soonyoung has a shit-eating grin on his face, and Wonwoo smiles back at him, a little confused.  
  
“What?”

Soonyoung shakes his head, shrugging. “Nothing.”

Wonwoo narrows his eyes at him, but walks towards the bed anyway, leaning down to kiss Soonyoung right on his lips, even though he’s just woken up and probably has bad morning breath.  
  
“You can go take a shower, there’s a towel for you,” Wonwoo says as he opens a drawer and retrieves a pair of boxers, taking his towel off to tug them over his slim legs, and all Soonyoung does is watch.  
  
“Hey, you little pervert, go take a shower.” Wonwoo brings him back to reality, snapping his towel at him, and Soonyoung swallows thickly as he pouts at him, jumping off the mattress to run towards the bathroom, the other holding his towel in his hand as a warning.

 

\------------------------

Saturday night comes and so does the Halloween party, and since Soonyoung has been all too busy with a certain someone, he didn’t have a costume (not that any of the other participants try very hard. They don’t try at all), so he simply steals a pair of black cat ears he found in storage at the shop.  
  
Junhui and Jihoon are already in the apartment when he gets there after work, preparing a table full of snacks and drinks. Soonyoung feels his nerves spike as the concept of the party (and Wonwoo meeting his friends) starts to get more and more.. real. On the one hand, he’s scared Wonwoo won’t show up- on the other hand, he’s scared his friends are going to be assholes.  
  
Minghao is the first to arrive, as always, Junhui opening the door for him. They greet each other in Mandarin and engage in small talk while Jihoon and Soonyoung both sit on the couch next to each other, each holding a bottle of beer in his hand.  
  
“Your boyfriend’s coming, right?” Jihoon asks. His voice is only a tad mischievous, but Soonyoung sees right through him.  
  
He turns to look at him before huffing. “He’s not my boyfriend. We’re.. seeing each other.”  
  
“Sure.” Jihoon nods, turning his face away to look at Junhui, who is standing against the kitchen counter, talking to Minghao with interest, holding a glass of wine. “Just like Jun and I are seeing each other.”

Soonyoung’s lips press together before he grits his teeth, shrugging his shoulders at the other. He’s tense, all of a sudden. Wonwoo wasn’t there yet.

  
“Hey, calm down. He’ll be here,” Jihoon says reassuringly, patting Soonyoung’s thigh twice. The sensation of his hand on Soonyoung’s thigh almost makes him flinch, the way it burns. He gets up from the couch to join Junhui and Minghao, greeting the younger man before poking Junhui in the stomach and leaning up to kiss him. Soonyoung watches them with something that feels like envy in his eyes. Envy of what, he’s not sure.  
  
Then there’s a soft knock on the door. Minghao reassures the rest of the company that he’ll get it, walking towards the door and opening it slowly, revealing a tall, black-haired man with round glasses sitting on his nose. There’s a box in his hands.  
  
Soonyoung spots him from where he’s sitting on the couch, and he can’t help but smile at the sight of him, smile so wide that it feels like it’s permanently etched onto his face. He leans his chin on his palm as he nods at the guy in their doorframe.  
  
“Hi. I’m Wonwoo,” Wonwoo says, a sheepish, almost shy, smile on his face. He bows to Minghao and the rest of the guys. (The man is too polite for his own good.)

Jihoon chuckles, places his beer bottle on the counter. “Come on in, man,” he invites him in, and Wonwoo nods, taking his shoes off before he walks into the apartment, closing the door behind him. Soonyoung rises to his feet to walk towards him, pushing his hands into his trouser pockets.  
  
“Hey.” He stands next to him as Wonwoo lowers the box onto the counter and opens it, displaying bat and pumpkin shaped cookies, perfect and.. not burnt. Soonyoung tiptoes just slightly to press a kiss to the other’s cheek, taking a hand from his pocket to intertwine their arms.

Wonwoo smiles down at him. “Nice cat ears,” he observes.

Soonyoung scoffs. “You baked more cookies.”

Wonwoo gives him a smug grin. “I have to impress your friends _somehow,_ ” he whispers, and Soonyoung snickers.  
  
“You’re impressive enough even without the cookies. Come on.” He tugs at Wonwoo’s arm, dragging him to the couch to join the rest of his friends, who were sitting down together.

Conversations start a little dry and uncomfortable, but after Hansol and Seokmin arrive, the awkward air around the room dies down and all that’s left is laughter.

Soonyoung observes how Minghao and Hansol sit almost dangerously close to one another as the redhead passes a joint to Wonwoo, who is seated on his other side, nodding at him enthusiastically. Wonwoo is across from Soonyoung, on the other side of the couch, between Hansol and Seokmin (Soonyoung should have warned him), so both of them have the best view of each other, even if they’re not next to each other. Wonwoo takes the rolled paper between his lips and sucks in so gracefully, Soonyoung is mesmerized. The smoke curls thickly from his parted his lips, swirling upward in a wavy motion, making Hansol laugh hysterically and smack at Wonwoo’s shoulder. Soonyoung had a feeling Hansol would like him. He feels victorious.  
  
“Dude, you’re a fucking pro,” Hansol manages to say after he wins his breath back after laughing, the group chuckling along with him, most of them already high. “Hyung, where have you been hiding this guy?”  
  
It takes Soonyoung a little while to figure out the question is meant for him, and he turns away from Wonwoo to chuckle at Hansol for a moment, before his foggy gaze returns to Wonwoo.  
  
“I’d say he’s been hiding from me, actually.” The whole group starts making ‘ _oooooo’_ sounds as Wonwoo and Soonyoung simply smile and stare at one another, Soonyoung leaning on his fist again.

 

All of them keep talking, some to each other, some at each other and most of the time all together, most of the snacks on the table disappearing after about twenty minutes (including Wonwoo’s cookies!). Soonyoung tells Jihoon they just got Damien Rice on vinyl, and the both of them start humming and singing to one of his songs.

“Did you see the movie? It was fucking amazing, I swear I cried,” Soonyoung wipes pretend tears from the corner of his eyes, making Jihoon laugh and shake his head at him, pushing him away.  
  
Soonyoung then catches a glimpse of Wonwoo and Hansol sitting on the couch discussing something ardently, laughing and smiling at each other. Minghao joins their conversation, and Wonwoo laughs so hard his nose scrunches up. It’s so endearing that Soonyoung feels a warm smile spread across his lips.  
  
He gets up from the couch, telling everyone he’s just going to get some water. He maneuvers around the various human bodies in his living room towards the kitchen, taking off the cat-eared band and placing it on the counter. He opens the refrigerator door to take out a cool bottle of water, opening the cap to swallow it down, sighing as he places the bottle down on the counter. When he looks up, Wonwoo is walking into the kitchen.  
  
“Hello, stranger.” Wonwoo remarks, moving to stand next to him against the kitchen counter.  
  
Soonyoung chuckles. “You heard Jihoon and I, didn’t you?”

Wonwoo nods shyly, running his fingers through Soonyoung’s hair, who leans into the touch.  
  
“I like that movie, _Closer_. Did you really cry?”

Soonyoung sneers at him, crossing his arms against his chest. “Maybe. A little.” Wonwoo has the fondest expression on his face, it makes Soonyoung’s stomach clutch.

“I bet you’re an ugly crier.”

Soonyoung nods, letting out a dramatic sigh. “Yes. That’s true.”

“I like your friends,” Wonwoo says with an approving tone, turning to look back at the laughing and smiling mess of a group on the couch, then turns back to look at Soonyoung.  
  
“I think they like you too,” Soonyoung says quietly. He’s usually hyper and talkative, but weed makes him calm, very serene. Wonwoo looks back at him without saying anything, so Soonyoung leans in to press a very soft kiss to his lips, making it linger just a few more seconds than necessary.

“Do you want me to stay the night?” Wonwoo asks, his arms around Soonyoung’s shoulders, always weighing him down.  
  
“Better not. Junhui is already sleeping here tonight,” Soonyoung whispers apologetically, and Wonwoo pouts but shrugs, leaning in to kiss Soonyoung again.

“Too bad. There were a lot of things I was planning on,” he whispers against Soonyoung mouth and their eyes meet again, Wonwoo’s gleaming with insidious intentions, before he tilts his head and walks back into the living room, tongue sticking out at Soonyoung as he goes.  
  
Despite himself, Soonyoung is charmed. “Oh, you better run, Jeon Wonwoo!” _  
  
_

They spend most of November in Wonwoo’s apartment. It becomes a second home to Soonyoung, a familiar place to go to when he feels low. Even the scent of Wonwoo’s sheets become familiar; it’s easier for him to sleep on the other’s bed, even by himself, than on his own bed back at his and Jihoon’s apartment.  
  
Soonyoung meets Wonwoo’s friends as well- Mingyu, Seungkwan, Jeonghan and Seungcheol. He sees a little bit of Wonwoo in all of them, almost like marks the man leaves in every person who encounters him. It’s movies, books, and music, all present in Wonwoo’s friends just as much as in Wonwoo himself- maybe that’s why they get along so well from the get go. They’re all different, of course, but he can see bits and pieces of them that remind Soonyoung of Wonwoo so vividly.

It doesn’t take a lot of time for the entire group to become friends.

Soonyoung even deviates from his hard-set code of beliefs and agrees to go on a _double date_ with Jihoon and Junhui (according to Jihoon, Junhui was the one who insisted they go.) It even ends up being... kind of fun, which isn’t something Soonyoung expects, especially considering the only one who isn’t aware of the huge elephant in the room was his own...

Boyfriend.  
  
Midway into November, he admits it to himself. He has a boyfriend.

It’s not like he’s been dying to say those words out loud, or that he was hesitant to--it’s just that it’s strange. He’s never cared about anyone like this-- besides Jihoon. All his past flings were just hookups and a few random dates until the other person got tired of his shit and bounced.  
  
But this is different. Of course he’s terrified.

One night, he and Jihoon sit in front of the television, watching Kingsman out of sheer boredom- they’ve watched that movie probably a thousand times. Soonyoung places his beer on the coaster Jihoon put out for him ( _I won’t have any more spots on that table. It’s wood, for fuck’s sake!),_ stuffing popcorn into his mouth.

Jihoon speaks up sometime after the training pool in the movie gets whittled down to three.  
  
“Are you gonna tell him about us?”

Soonyoung almost chokes on the mouthful of popcorn he’s just stuffed into himself. He swallows, heart thrumming.  
  
“What’s there to tell? Nothing ever happened between us.”  
  
Jihoon rolls his eyes at him, staring with a scowl. “You know what I mean, Soonyoung-ah.”  
  
“Is it really that important?” Soonyoung lets out an unsteady exhale and rubs at the back of his neck, taking his beer back, curling his fingers around the glass, taking a long sip before he starts ripping at the wet label.  
  
“Yeah, it’s pretty fucking important.” Soonyoung turns to look at Jihoon, who raises his eyebrows at him, shrugging his shoulders before stretching an arm to squeeze at Soonyoung’s own shoulder.  
  
“In a little while. I just... I need more time.”

Jihoon nods and leans back comfortably against the couch. “Just don’t forget.”

November turns out to be the best month of his life. He has work, he has friends, and most of all, he has Wonwoo. He sounds sappy and stupid, but it’s true. He just feels _happy_ , and he hasn’t felt that in a while.  
  
Soonyoung works an afternoon shift with one of the other employees in the shop, Chan, who has this obsession with Michael Jackson- usually whenever they have a slow shift, Soonyoung lets him turn his own playlist on and dance around the shop, Soonyoung cheering him on. Today doesn’t seem to be one of those days. It’s another one of those really slow days, but Chan has apparently been cramming for his entrance exams, so he doesn’t feel like jamming much today.

Soonyoung leaves the playlist on _Classic Oldies_ as he rearranges some of the records on display, when he hears a familiar voice singing along with the song playing from the shop’s speakers.  
  
He turns around to see Wonwoo, humming along and singing quietly to _[Can’t Take My Eyes Off Of You](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LcJm1pOswfM)._

  
Soonyoung breaks out laughing almost immediately, and he asks, “What are you doing he-,” when Wonwoo comes closer, cutting him off and singing even louder, making Chan glance up from the notebook he has splayed across the register counter. _  
  
_

“... There’s nothing else to compare, the sight of you leaves me weak, there are no words left to speak,” Wonwoo takes Soonyoung’s hand and drags him towards him, until they’re chest to chest, and he starts swaying them around, still singing. Soonyoung tries to push him away, but Wonwoo only gets louder, spinning them around and keeping a firm hand on Soonyoung’s back as they dance.  
  
“I love you baby! And if it’s quite alright, I need you baby, to warm a lonely night,” Wonwoo sings off-key, and Soonyoung simply presses his forehead against the taller man’s shoulder, letting him lead their exaggerated slow dance as Soonyoung giggles, breathing in the scent of vanilla that he’s come to associate with him.  
  
The song ends, the melody slowly fading into the next song (Stand By Me). Soonyoung lifts his head up to look at Wonwoo, who looks at him back with a grin.  
  
“I thought you had a lecture.” Soonyoung says, a sincere smile on his face, both his hands pressed flat on Wonwoo’s chest.  
  
“It was cancelled.” Wonwoo says almost proudly, as if he had something to do with that cancellation.  
  
“And this is what you decide to do with your time, huh? Come here and sing Frankie Valli to me, force me into a slow dance in front of my coworker?”  
  
Chan chimes in, surprising the both of them. “I didn’t mind. It was pretty nice, actually.”

Wonwoo and Soonyoung stare at him for a few beats before breaking into laughter, Soonyoung hiding his face against the curve between Wonwoo’s neck and shoulder, discovering exactly where his home is.

 

\------------

 

Christmas comes around faster this year, it feels. As their two groups of friends have become one group of friends, he planning of this year’s Christmas party turns into something much bigger than anyone expected. Seungkwan, Junhui and Seokmin decide they’re in charge of planning, and this time (Jihoon and Soonyoung breathe out in relief), the party will be held at Junhui’s place. Hansol calls Soonyoung and Jihoon to inform them this time, Minghao is going to be his date to the party (both of them scream soundlessly when Hansol tells them this on speakerphone, dancing around the living room and trying not to laugh accidentally).  
  
Soonyoung walks into Wonwoo’s kitchen the next morning, still in his pajamas while Wonwoo is completely dressed and showered. Soonyoung doesn’t have work until four, and Wonwoo has an early lecture. They make it work.  
  
He hands Soonyoung a cup of coffee, and Soonyoung thanks him groggily.  
  
“Minghao and Hansol are dating,” he tells Wonwoo as he sips his coffee slowly, savouring the caffeine, and grabs his backpack to pull out a pack of Marlboro Reds.  
  
“Finally? Hey, you said you’re gonna quit!” Wonwoo looks at him with a scowl, putting his own backpack on.  
  
“I gotta have one with my morning coffee,” Soonyoung almost whines, placing the cigarette between his lips and lighting it up, pulling Wonwoo’s own finished cup of coffee and turning it into a makeshift ashtray.

“I gotta go, I’m gonna be late,” Wonwoo mutters under his breath hurriedly, leaning over Soonyoung’s shoulders to kiss his cheek.  
  
“Don’t forget the Christmas party on Saturday!” Soonyoung calls after him.  
  
“I wouldn’t be able to; Junhui is forcing me to bake more cookies,” Wonwoo calls back as he closes the door behind him.

 

\---------------

 

Soonyoung and Jihoon are the first to arrive at Junhui’s apartment on Saturday night, and it’s not long before Seungkwan and Seokmin show up. All four help Junhui finish fixing up the apartment, draping the Christmas tree with lights and ornaments. They bring an almost unfathomable amount of food and alcohol with them, even though they’re both aware of just how much pot Hansol is going to bring with him.  
  
Wonwoo and Jeonghan show up next. Wonwoo walks into the living room and approaches Soonyoung just as he’s hanging a nice, gold ornament on the tree, and Soonyoung turns his head to kiss him over his shoulder. It’s become a reflex to him, turning to kiss Wonwoo when they see each other.  
  
“Mingyu told me he’s bringing a girl,” Wonwoo tells him, his tone playful.  
  
Soonyoung gasps, placing a hand on his mouth. “Oh no, they’ll tear her to shreds. Poor girl.”  
  
Wonwoo laughs at Soonyoung’s reply and tugs at his old Rolling Stones t-shirt before he makes his way into the kitchen, Junhui already asking him about the cookies.  
  
The party is a success- everyone who was invited showed up, and Junhui looked like the most self-satisfied host Soonyoung has ever seen. Seokmin and Soonyoung sit together on two deep armchairs next to the Christmas tree, while Minghao, Hansol, Jeonghan and Seungkwan drape themselves over the couch to the left. Wonwoo and Junhui stand against the wall, talking and laughing, while Seungcheol and Mingyu seemingly talk about Mingyu’s date (Lee?) who apparently didn’t want to come to a party full of boys. Soonyoung doesn’t really blame her.  
  
Some of them get drunk (Junhui and Seungkwan) and some of them get high (Hansol and Seokmin), some do both and some do neither. The party patters along well, especially since they previously announced a no-gifts rule. No one’s worried and everyone’s having a good time, and Soonyoung can’t help but feel warm and giddy watching his and Wonwoo’s friends get along so well.  
  
Soonyoung gets up, informing Seokmin he needs a cigarette. He stands at the balcony, spotting Junhui and Wonwoo standing only a meter or two away from him. He hears their conversation and tries not to listen; but he can’t help himself, tilting his head to hear better, straining to figure out if Wonwoo is saying anything nice about him.  
  
“How’s things between you and Soonyoung-ah?” Junhui’s slurring, Soonyoung can tell he’s drunk.  
  
Wonwoo lets out a quiet laugh, and although Soonyoung has his back to them, he knows he’s nodding. “It’s good. It’s really good. He’s special,”  
  
Soonyoung takes a drag from his cigarette and glances down at his feet, almost shyly, as he smiles to himself, the smoke leaving his lips and disappearing into the cold, night sky.  
  
“You know, it, it surprises me, how cool you are with him and Jihoonie living together,” Junhui stumbles on his words, but speaks fast. “Not everyone would date a guy who used to be in love with his roommate.”

 

“What are you talking about?” Wonwoo laughs, but the humor in his tone fades a little as soon as he says the words. “What do you--who’s in love with Jihoon? Soonyoung?”  
  
“Oh, Soonyoung was madly in love with Jihoonie for years. It was rather terrible,” Junhui sighs as he talks, his tone sounding almost _pitiful._  
  
Soonyoung freezes. His heart starts beating so rapidly, he can hardly breath with it hammering in his throat. He looks around to find Wonwoo, who looks at Junhui with a confused expression before seeing Soonyoung at the corner of his eyes. Soonyoung’s expression answers an unspoken question in Wonwoo’s eyes and he shakes his head at him, blinking repeatedly like he’s trying to avoid crying, eyebrows furrowed. Soonyoung sees Wonwoo’s world shattering around him. Soonyoung can feel his heart breaking.

“Wonwoo, I’m not, I don’t,” Soonyoung approaches him as quickly as he can, but Wonwoo’s quicker. He walks towards the living room, and Soonyoung rushes after him after mouthing a ‘ _fuck you_ ’ in Junhui’s direction; he feels numb and he’s unsure how he’s even able to move his legs at this point.  
  
Wonwoo makes Minghao stand up so he could grab his coat, slipping on his shoes quickly, and Soonyoung waltzes around him, trying to persuade him to listen. “Wonwoo, listen to me, it was years ago, it was...”  
  
He doesn’t even look at him, he doesn’t say a word- Soonyoung is quick to grab his own coat, carelessly shoving his shoes on, making long strides to follow Wonwoo as he leaves the apartment and slams the door behind him.  
  
Soonyoung opens it after him, not even minding the silence reigning behind him as the partygoers realize that Something was Up. He skips down the staircase so fast he briefly thinks about what would happen if he trips and falls and opens his forehead, but he doesn’t quite care.

 

Wonwoo speaks only when they reach the bottom of the stairs.  
  
“You used to be in love with Jihoon?” He’s not shouting, but his voice rings in the silence, loud, shaky, hurt, and Soonyoung has never heard him like this before. It makes his stomach ache in a way he can’t describe.  
  
“It was years ago, back in highschool, nothing ever happened between us,” Soonyoung voice breaks as he talks, and he tries his best to pull himself together.  
  
“How long? How long were you in love with him?” Wonwoo’s own voice is quiet and small. Soonyoung can see his eyes glistening in the dark and his heart just aches for causing it.  
  
“Second year.. third year.. a year ago,” Soonyoung breathes out the words like they’re hard to pronounce, the syllables stinging at the tip of his tongue. It’s freezing outside, snowing, and he shoves his hands into his coat pockets as they stand at least a meter away from each other.  
  
“Three years?” Wonwoo’s voice cracks on a confused little sob, and Soonyoung wipes his nose, both for the cold and the tears already staining his cheeks.  
  
“I’m sorry, I was going to tell you, I was planning on-”  
  
“But you didn’t fucking tell me!” he yells, all of a sudden, and Soonyoung cringes, stumbles backwards. He’s so loud, and angry. Soonyoung knows he’s entitled to be.

The air is heavy as silence stretches between them, Soonyoung muted by the thought of what Wonwoo must be feeling right now.

Wonwoo speaks again, softer this time. “Why didn’t you tell me?”  
  
“I was going to tell you, I swear-” Soonyoung starts, Wonwoo cuts him off.

“Why didn’t you?”

“I-I don’t know,” is all Soonyoung can offer. He doesn’t know. He should have told him long ago, full disclosure. Instead what he has is a mess on his hands, and the boy he cares most about with tears in his eyes in front of him. He fucked up. He fucked up so bad.

Wonwoo exhales, the December air crystallizing it into fog. “All this time.”

“But I’m not in love with him, not anymore,” Soonyoung insists. There’s a feeling, in his chest, something itching. A voice at the back of his head is telling him to calm down but he’s breathing hard, like he needs Wonwoo to listen to him.

“How can you know you’re not still in love with him?” Wonwoo exclaims, throwing his hands. “It’s three years! You were just in love with him last year! How can you know that you’re not? How can _I_ know you’re not still in love with--”  
  
“I’m not!” Soonyoung shouts back, insistent, stepping closer towards Wonwoo.  
  
“How can I know that if you didn’t eve-”  
  
“Because I’m in love with you!” Soonyoung cries at the top of his lungs.  
  
They shiver as they stare at each other, breathless and cold, hands shoved into pockets as the reality of Soonyoung’s words sink in. Soonyoung’s mouth parts as his eyes stare, fixed, on Wonwoo’s face, before his face falls forward and he squeezes his eyes shut, tear drops falling on the snow-covered concrete he’s standing on.  
  
He can hear Wonwoo shuffle closer to him, until he feels cold hands touch both sides of his face, gentle and careful as always. Soonyoung allows the hands to tilt his head upwards, and their eyes meet again, Wonwoo’s own still glassy with tears.  
  
“I’m sorry,” Soonyoung says again, so quiet he can scarcely hear himself.  Wonwoo blinks, and tears skitter down to his chin.  
  
They return to Soonyoung’s apartment together, close, so close. Soonyoung doesn’t bother turning on the lights as they walk into his apartment, because the second the door closes, Wonwoo has his hands over him and his mouth on his, hot and slow, barely moving. It’s not sloppy or rushed in the slightest; it’s as careful as they’ve been so far.  
  
They walk backwards into Soonyoung’s bedroom without pause, hands brushing at each other’s clothes, getting rid of the layers upon layers that they have on.  
  
Once they’re naked, they take their time. Wonwoo kisses him languidly, exploring every part of his mouth with his tongue, running hands over regions of himself in a way he’s never been touched before. Soonyoung straddles him when they’re both ready, Wonwoo’s arms hooked firmly around his back, Soonyoung’s own unyielding and solid on Wonwoo’s shoulders.

  
Wonwoo fucks him in the exact same position, foreheads pressed against each other, relentless. Soonyoung doesn’t stop kissing Wonwoo for a moment, his mouth always finding his even after he has to break apart to breathe, and when they can’t kiss, the both of them panting, wheezing and spent, their mouths persist to linger against one another.

Soonyoung discovers what _making love_ means. Wonwoo’s hands won’t let him go, stubborn and strong around him, _always weighing him down_ , unwavering. His eyes are damp with tears, partly from the pleasure and partly from his intense emotions, turning him into a helpless mess.

When he comes, Wonwoo holds him closer, both of them enfolding the other in his arms. Wonwoo doesn’t last much longer after him, but they stay, unfaltering.  
  
They fall asleep with their arms around each other, tight and devoted. Soonyoung has never been so exhausted in his life, he falls asleep so fast, he can’t even think to himself, _I’m falling asleep._

Soonyoung wakes up the next morning, still feeling exhausted and worked up. It takes him a minute to notice he’s alone in his bed. As he sits up and rubs his eyes, he cranes his head to listen for Wonwoo in the shower.  
  
No running water.  
  
He grabs his phone and slides to open the lock screen, checking if he has any texts from Wonwoo.  
  
_One unread message._ _  
_ _  
_ _Jimmy Page_ _  
_ _I need time._ _  
_ _  
_ He lets the phone slip from his fingers and fall onto the mattress beside him, pressing a hand to his forehead. He forgets how to breathe, his chest so tight he has to rub it roughly in attempt to calm himself down. Once his breathing returns to normal, his eyes are moist.  
  
It’s Christmas day. And Wonwoo is gone.  
  
Soonyoung grabs his phone from where it fell on the bed and hooks his earbuds to the jack, fingers shaking as he presses the buds into his ears, choosing [a song ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nAK9Pj5-QXY)from his library. He lies back on his bed, and cries.  
_  
_ _I wish I had a river so long,_

_I would teach my feet to fly._

_Oh, I wish I had a river I could skate away on._

_I made my baby cry._

Soonyoung doesn’t see Wonwoo for two days. He knows he can just go to his apartment and demand Wonwoo speak to him, _couples are supposed to talk about things, right?_ But Wonwoo said, I need time, so Soonyoung gives him time. It happens to be the hardest thing Soonyoung has ever had to do- forcing himself to be away from Wonwoo. He knows this is something Wonwoo asked for, and as much as he hates it he wants to give him the chance to get used to everything that’s cascaded around him, but as the days go by, it starts scaring him. What if he doesn’t come back?

Junhui sends him double dozen texts apologizing and calls him numerous times but Soonyoung just doesn’t feel like talking. He’s well aware Junhui had no malicious intentions and he knows it wouldn’t have happened if he wasn’t drunk off his ass, but Soonyoung feels empty. He gotten so used to having Wonwoo around him that it doesn’t feel like he’s really functioning without him- everything he does is on autopilot, from eating to drinking to breathing.

Jihoon tries comforting him as well, but nothing leaves a true imprint on him. He goes to work because he has to, and it’s somewhere he can’t cry or feel sorry for himself. The playlist he makes for the day is so melancholy (The Smiths) that even Chan looks at him weird.

It’s already past six when his shift at the shop ends and he starts closing up. He lets Chan leave early because it’s been a slow day, so he doesn’t need much help. He’s fixing the window display when he notices a figure sitting on the curb just outside the shop, his throat suddenly dry.  
  
Soonyoung opens the door and joins the man outside, sitting next to him on the concrete, wrapping his arms around his knees slowly.  
  
“Please don’t do that again,” he says quietly, unable to look directly at Wonwoo, afraid he might burst into tears in public, even though he’s pretty sure doesn’t have anymore fluids in his body in order to cry. That’s all he’s been doing for the past two days. Crying.  
  
Wonwoo turns to look at him and Soonyoung still can’t look anywhere but at his shoes. Even without looking at Wonwoo he can guess his expression, and knowing that hurts him more.

“Okay.” Wonwoo’s voice still sounds small, but also reassuring and calm. Soonyoung swallows the bit of courage he has left and turns his head to face him, before leaning his cheek on Wonwoo’s shoulder, letting out the breath he’s been holding. Wonwoo’s here, he’s real, he still here.  
  
Wonwoo presses a soft kiss to the top of Soonyoung’s head, wrapping his arm around his shoulders and bringing Soonyoung closer, and closer, reminding Soonyoung just where he’s found his home to be.

  
After Soonyoung finishes closing the shop with Wonwoo’s help (even though he insists he doesn’t need any), they walk together to Wonwoo’s apartment, hiding their intertwined fingers inside Soonyoung’s coat pocket.

They sit down and talk about it. Soonyoung tells Wonwoo everything about Jihoon and him, from the beginning, and he doesn’t leave a single detail out. He confides in Wonwoo in a way he hasn’t with anyone before, and unlike times before, where it was difficult for him to let the words out, everything flows out of him naturally, because he wants Wonwoo to know, and because he knows- he feels- that Wonwoo isn’t going to feel sorry for him. The reason Wonwoo wants to know about this is because Soonyoung’s past is important to him because _Soonyoung is important to him._ This isn’t group gossip, or something juicy Wonwoo is going to share with anyone.  
  
Soonyoung actually _wants_ to share his feelings with Wonwoo.  
  
“He was never... mean about it. Even when I confessed, he never stopped being my friend. And I never expected anything from him, I just… didn’t want him to stop being my friend.” Soonyoung wipes his silent tears, stubbing out his cigarette into the ashtray before lighting a new one, and wrapping himself tighter in one of Wonwoo’s blankets. They have the window open even though it’s freezing, because Wonwoo doesn’t smoke anymore, and he says it makes his apartment smell weird when his parents come to visit (then again, Soonyoung shouldn’t smoke either.)

Soonyoung takes a drag and goes on; he talks about their fights, what happened when Junhui and Jihoon started dating, the times Jihoon stayed although he didn’t have to. To Soonyoung, it seems like Wonwoo starts to understand.

  
Wonwoo hands Soonyoung a hot mug (“tea?” Wonwoo shakes his head. “cocoa?” Wonwoo nods), and sits next to him on the couch, Soonyoung shares his blanket with Wonwoo and they huddle closer.  
  
“I wasn’t mad because you used to be in love with him, I was mad because you didn’t tell me.” Wonwoo says almost inaudibly. Soonyoung turns his face to him and presses a kiss to the corner of Wonwoo’s mouth.

  
“I know. I’m sorry.” Soonyoung gives him a sad pout, which makes Wonwoo laugh, and he hasn’t heard him laugh in so long, it allows Soonyoung’s heart to breathe again.

“I trust you, Soonyoung.”

Soonyoung knows. It means the world to him to have that.

 

Soonyoung spends the night at Wonwoo’s apartment, and it feels like they were never apart. Having everything out in the open makes him feel like a great burden was lifted from his shoulders. Soonyoung was never a master of sharing emotions and letting anyone be a part of his personal process, but he feels like he’s getting there. With Wonwoo. Slowly, but still getting there.

 

Mostly, their routines go back to normal, but there’s one major change- Jihoon moves out. Soonyoung insists it’s time and even though Jihoon keeps telling him he can’t afford it, Soonyoung reassures him and says he’ll take extra shifts at the record shop and work longer hours.

 

Jihoon and Soonyoung sit just outside door to their building (his... building), as Junhui loads the last of the boxes onto his car. He doesn’t live too far away, but there are plenty of boxes. Jihoon and Soonyoung exchange glances and Jihoon is the first to break into laughter, Soonyoung following him not long after.  
  
Jihoon smiles. “Are you gonna be okay?” the question, although getting a bit repetitive, only comes from genuine concern. Soonyoung gives Jihoon a small nod, staring sheepishly at the ground before the the silence breaks, Junhui calling for Jihoon from the car.  
  
Soonyoung stands up, and Jihoon does too, tugging on his backpack. He tilts his head to the side with a fond expression. The air around them is only slightly awkward, the terms of Jihoon’s early (or late?) departure from their apartment quite different than anyone expected. Yet, Soonyoung is certain that the both of them will call this the end of an era. Soonyoung flashes him a wide grin, reaching with his fingers to flick some snow off of Jihoon’s shoulder.  
  
“Don’t forget to call me, hot stuff.” Jihoon says quietly, punching at Soonyoung’s chest.  
  
“Will do, babydoll. Will do.”

Things turn out to be harder than he initially thought it would be. At first, it’s just the way things are- Wonwoo has class early in the morning until the afternoon, and that’s just when Soonyoung leaves for work. Sometimes, if they’re lucky, either Soonyoung has an early shift or Wonwoo has an evening class, and they get to spend time together (which, most of the time, turns into sex)- but it’s exhausting, making time for each other.  
  
They try to make light of it, try to make it work. They start texting each other different songs, especially when they know they have no time to see each other. It happens most often when Soonyoung works so late, he’s too tired to make the way to Wonwoo’s apartment, and just walks to his own lonely and sad flat, continuously texting apologies to Wonwoo for being too sleepy to come over. Soonyoung takes his shoes off at the door and collapses on the couch the moment he reaches it, placing his phone next to him before zoning out.

The next morning, he wakes up to a text.

 _Unread Message_ _  
_ _  
_ _Jimmy Page_

_[The Kinks - Tired Of Waiting For You](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QkBvsBpgGbo) _

Soonyoung laughs and puts his phone down, guessing he could skip _one_ shift, asking Chan to cover for him.  
  
He texts back.

 _Robert Plant_  
_[Otis Redding - These Arms Of Mine](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aUaO50nWnvg) _

They make it work. They try to.

 

But it gets harder when they reach mid-January. Wonwoo has to study every single day because midterms are coming up, and Soonyoung still has to work six shifts a week to cover his rent, barely scraping by. Wonwoo offers to help him with the money but Soonyoung rejects the offer, saying _he can take care of himself._ Soonyoung has been on his own for so long now, he doesn’t know how to accept help. When the apartment was both his and Jihoon’s, he didn’t see it as Jihoon helping him, he saw it as Jihoon putting his share- but the fact Wonwoo is his boyfriend and they don’t even live together, means that taking money from him would make Soonyoung weak. Which he isn’t. So he doesn’t.  
  
But rent day comes and he’s short, way too short. He doesn’t understand how utilities cost so much-he’s barely even in the apartment much to begin with. Putting in extra shifts and working longer hours hasn’t helped him as much as he thought it would, and he has to beg his landlord to give him two more weeks. He gets off from his shift pissed-off and beaten down, muttering curses to himself as he digs Wonwoo’s apartment keys out of his bag, taking his shoes off and entering in a storm.  
  
“I can’t pay rent tomorrow,” he announces flatly as he places his bag down on the table near the door, hanging his coat in the closet across from it. He ventures into the living room to see his boyfriend on the couch, bent over his laptop with a textbook open on the coffee table, glasses on.  
  
“Then let me put in what’s missing,” Wonwoo answers him nonchalantly, almost carelessly, as he types, not even looking at Soonyoung.  
  
Soonyoung rolls his eyes and makes his way into the kitchen to get a beer from the refrigerator, sighing. “No,” he says, opening a drawer aggressively and taking the bottle opener out. “I don’t want you to.”  
  
Wonwoo laughs, turning a page in his book and squinting at the words as he reads. “It’s not a big deal-”  
  
Soonyoung cuts him off, tone harsh. “Yes, it is, and I don’t want you to.”

Wonwoo’s head snaps up, head jerking back in surprise.  
  
“It’s just money. You’ll pay me back.”

Soonyoung grits his teeth and shakes his head at him, taking a sip from his beer. “That’s not it, man,” Soonyoung pushes his hair back, throwing the cap into the trashcan.  
  
“Then what is it? Why won’t you let me help you?” Soonyoung turns around to face Wonwoo and his eyes turn dark. That one sentence doesn’t sit well with him and suddenly his blood feels hot.  
  
“I can take care of myself,” Soonyoung shoots back at him from across the apartment, and Wonwoo gives him a mirthless chuckle.  
  
“Soonyoung, explain to me how not having enough money to pay rent equals taking care of yourself?”  
  
“I don’t want your fucking money,” he spits out and Wonwoo takes a moment to stare at him, eyebrows raised. Soonyoung has never allowed anyone to help him financially. Even when he was having a harder time before he got the job at the record shop and Jihoon offered to pay a little extra- he never agreed to it.  
  
“Why? Because it’s my dad’s money?” Wonwoo shuts his laptop and places it back onto the coffee table, standing up and walking over to Soonyoung, who only backs away.  
  
“I make my own money, I don’t need yours.” Soonyoung walks over to his bag and takes out a pack of cigarettes, fumbling with the lighter.  
  
Wonwoo stands a meter away, hand gripping the kitchen counter. “But you do need it.” He says it so matter-of-factly that Soonyoung feels his blood actually boiling. He turns around, face heated red. He hates it when people tell him what he does and doesn’t need. He hates it when people tell him what to do, how to do it.  
  
“I’m doing just fine, I’m gonna work for two weeks straight and I’ll pay the stupid rent!”  
  
Wonwoo snickers, shaking his head as he saunters back to his laptop. “You don’t get it.”  
  
Soonyoung strides towards him and places his finger on his lip. “I don’t get it? Why, because I’m not a fucking business major like you are? Because I don’t have a degree to prove I know shit?”  
  
Wonwoo turns to him, expression cold and jaw clenched. “That’s not what I said.”

Soonyoung almost regrets his words but the fire inside him is only flaring higher and Wonwoo’s words fuel it further. “But it’s what you meant.”

Wonwoo only looks at him. He doesn’t say a single word, and it rattles Soonyoung to the core. “That’s not true.”

Soonyoung laughs sarcastically, returning to the kitchen to retrieve his beer, anything to cool the rage building inside him. “You’re the one who doesn’t get it.”

  
“And what the fuck are you going to do? Work in that record shop your entire life, bust your ass six days a week and pay rent late for the rest of your days?” Wonwoo stabs him in the stomach right back. Soonyoung can’t breath with the heat going up to his head.

  
“I don’t need shit from someone who busts his ass for something he doesn’t even want,” Soonyoung chokes on his words but once they leave his mouth he can’t stop. It’s the kind of word vomit he doesn’t know how to avoid.

“At least I know where I’m going.”

“You do think I’m stupid. You think I’m not gonna get anywhere, do you?”

Wonwoo sighs, pushing away his laptop and standing up again to walk towards his boyfriend. “That’s not what I mean, I just-”  
  
“Then what do you mean?”  
  
“I just want to help you, I _can_ help you, but you won’t let me.”

Soonyoung backs away with each step Wonwoo takes. “You don’t want to help me, you just want to feel good about yourself. They all just want to feel good about themselves, let’s help poor Kwon Soonyoung, his parents kicked him out and now he can’t pay his fucking rent!”

Wonwoo’s tone turns dark and agitated. “Then maybe you should have gone to college like they wanted you to!”  
  
Soonyoung stops in his tracks, and stares at Wonwoo, trying to process what he just said over the strange buzzing in his ear. Wonwoo stares back, face apologetic like he regrets the words as soon as they leave his mouth, and his expression has Soonyoung looking down at the floor, jaw tight, fists clenched.  
  
“Soonyoung,” Wonwoo whispers, walks over to him. Soonyoung glances at him and shakes his head once, stretching his arm out to keep a distance between them.  
  
“ _No_ .” He breathes out, and Wonwoo stops. They stand in front of each other for a few moments that feel like an eternity before Soonyoung moves, stumbles towards the door, pushing his feet into his shoes, grabbing his coat and bag.

Soonyoung leaves.

 

\------------

 

Wonwoo calls him and texts him, but Soonyoung doesn’t reply. It’s all messy apologies spilling from one message to another, jumbled rambling and spelling mistakes, and it pisses him off even more, the thought that Wonwoo feels so bad that his pristine college boy grammar is failing him. Right now, all Soonyoung has inside him is hurt, and anger, and for the first three days that he doesn’t have any contact with Wonwoo, he doesn’t even miss him. He’s mad, and he has the right to be.

He doesn’t know what makes him angrier, the things Wonwoo said or the way it’s affecting him. Soonyoung has never been someone to care about what people think about him, but the idea, the thought, that Wonwoo thinks that he can’t get anywhere, or that he’s not _good enough,_ it hits home. He remembers the feeling at the most inopportune moments, when he looks in the mirror while washing his face, when he counts the money in the cash register, when he wakes up in the morning.

Soonyoung has been so, so sure that Wonwoo understood him, that he was on his side. Finding out that he’s wrong, that Wonwoo actually agreed with his parents’ sentiments, is something Soonyoung is going to have a very hard time forgetting. If there’s something he always feels like he has to prove, it’s that he’s smart. That he doesn’t need to go to college and learn something he doesn’t believe in to be smart, to do something he doesn’t want to do for the rest of his life, just because someone expects him to.

The pain is constant and numbing. It’s in the back of his mind every hour of every day but Soonyoung has self control when it comes to pain. There are only two people in his entire life who have seen him cry: Jihoon, and Wonwoo.

Staying at his own apartment doesn’t work because Wonwoo can show up at any time (it’s also incredibly lonely) and Soonyoung really doesn’t want to see his face right now. He swings between Junhui’s  and Jihoon’s place (the closest) and Seokmin’s. All three welcome him with open arms and for the most part they don’t question his request to stay at their place. A part of him feels relieved that he doesn’t need to share too much detail about why he doesn’t want to be home, but he also wishes someone would ask him what’s wrong.  
  
He sits on the couch with Jihoon and Junhui after work, a bottle of whiskey on the table. Junhui pours them each a glass, on the rocks.  
  
“He called me today,” Jihoon says after taking a small sip.

Soonyoung presses his lips together.

“He wants to talk to you.”  
  
“I don’t care.” He’s quiet. Soonyoung is back on autopilot, functioning only out of habit.

“But you do care. You can’t just not talk to him.” Junhui adds, leaning on his fist.  
  
“Watch me.” Soonyoung downs a large gulp of whiskey, savouring the stinging warm sensation down his throat, looking out the window before flicking his cigarette and letting the ash fall onto the metal container ( _“You said you’re gonna quit!”_ echoes in his head as he takes a long drag).  
  
“You can’t avoid him forever, Soonyoung.” Jihoon looks right at him, and Soonyoung stares back, running fingers through his hair, out of answers.

On the fourth day he has work again. He works double shifts just to fill out the abundance of time he suddenly has on his hands now. Chan asks him if he wants to choose some songs for the playlist, but Soonyoung dismisses him, shaking his head no. He hasn’t listened to any music for the past four days.

He has never in his entire life stopped listening to music. He listens to music when he wakes up, in the shower, on his way to work, all day long choosing songs for playlist in the record shop, on his way back home, while eating, while laughing, while fucking...  
  
He has to stop.

It goes on just like that- the fifth day, the sixth day of not talking to Wonwoo. He goes to work, twelve to ten, switching between Junhui’s and Jihoon’s place, Seokmin’s and sometimes Hansol’s. He has fifty two unread messages from Jimmy Page but he doesn’t open KakaoTalk because he can’t handle Wonwoo’s face smiling at him from the small circle next to his name.

Soonyoung barely sleeps. It’s around the night of the fifth day he hallucinates a vanilla-like scent on Seokmin’s couch, and it makes his stomach clutch. For four days he somehow manages to ignore his feelings but on the fifth day, it hits him like a strong ocean wave. Wonwoo’s scent, then his smile, his laugh...

Being tired is something he becomes used to. Exhaustion settles around him like a familiar old friend, so much that he forgets about sleep, existing on coffee and the occasional joint from Hansol to keep his nerves down and help him stay relaxed. Most of the time he feels like nothing is ever truly happening around him. He’s been in a lucid dream for a while now and he’s just waiting to wake up.  
  
Seventh day. A whole week without Wonwoo and his entire body is tense. Joints sore, brain fuzzy, dark circles growing and almost terrifying. When he shows up to work, Chan immediately tells him that he can go home if he’s feeling under the weather, but Soonyoung insists he’s fine. It’s five in the afternoon when his feet (dragging him from one place to the next) skid against the floor and he trips, almost collapses, against the counter. Chan screams at him to go home before apologizing endlessly (“Hyung, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to yell, you just seem very tired!”). So Soonyoung goes home. To his own apartment.

He crashes onto his bed and stares at the ceiling. It stares back. He’s so tired, so exhausted, that he can’t even fall asleep. Every bone in his body is sore and his mind is running on hyperdrive, all over the place with thoughts he doesn’t need or want. For a moment he wonders if he has any sleeping pills in the bathroom but his phone disturbs his line of thought with a sweet and small high pitched sound. He fishes his phone out of his pocket to see the notification.  
  
_Jimmy Page_  
_[Wild Horses - The Rolling Stones](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yE2B_kCfvss) _

Something inside Soonyoung breaks into pieces. He knows the song but he can’t find the melody or the words in his brain. His fingers feel thick and his brain is numb. He doesn’t realize what he’s doing and before he notices his own actions he’s looking up the song on Youtube, purposely clicking on a lyrics video.

_Faith has been broken, tears must be cried_

_Let's do some living after we die_

_Wild horses couldn't drag me away_

_Wild, wild horses, we'll ride them someday_

_Wild horses couldn't drag me away_

_Wild, wild horses, we'll ride them someday_ _  
_  
Something he assumes is adrenaline pumps through his veins after hearing the song and he clambers to his feet, vision blurry through tears as he tucks his phone back to his pocket and walks briskly to the front door, grabbing his coat and bag on the way before clumsily getting his shoes back on. He lifts his hood up to cover his tear-stained face (he didn’t even notice them fall) as he walked down the staircase of his building and onto the street. He’s barely thinking but the way to Wonwoo’s apartment isn’t something he can get wrong.

He doesn’t even take the rain into account.  
  
He drags himself, soaking wet and dripping onto the carpet, up Wonwoo’s building and stops in front of his door, breathing hard and pushing his hair out of his eyes. He knocks on the door much more softly than the heartbeat pounding in his chest.

Wonwoo opens the door, breath catching in his throat the second he sees Soonyoung on the other side, staring back at him wordlessly. Soonyoung can’t speak, can’t let out a single syllable from his stupid mouth, so he just takes his phone out of his pocket, taps on it a few times until it starts playing _Wild Horses_ at full volume.

Wonwoo doesn’t say anything; instead, he waits for the song to finish before stepping outside into the hallway where a puddle has already formed around Soonyoung, and wrapping his arms around Soonyoung’s wet figure, burying his face into his neck, hugging him so tight, Soonyoung can hardly breath, not that he could breath anyway.  
  
It takes him a moment but eventually, he wraps his around Wonwoo, too tired to cry, fingers gripping so tightly onto the back of Wonwoo’s hoodie that he thinks he could possibly hurt the fabric.  
  
He takes a warm shower and Wonwoo brings him some dry clothes. He pulls them on lazily, before joining Wonwoo on the bed, climbing slowly and collapsing next to him, pressing his face to the juncture between Wonwoo’s neck and shoulder, barely a word exchanged between them still. Soonyoung doesn’t feel like talking, he feels like everything has already been said.  
  
Words sometimes make matters worse, he thinks. Music, on the other hand...

Wonwoo’s fingers skim over the side of his body, tracing patterns and trailing gently. It’s not sexual at all-it’s tender, delicate, the way Wonwoo lifts Soonyoung’s face up so he could kiss his forehead, keeping his lips pressed there even after the kiss ends, just ghosting his lips over Soonyoung’s skin.  
  
They stay like that for a few hours, lying next to each other, caressing each other and kissing cheeks, foreheads, hands and fingers. Mostly, Soonyoung just looks at Wonwoo’s face, runs his fingers over his jaw, thumbs at his lower lip. After a while, Wonwoo says something.  
  
“I’m sorry.” It’s barely a whisper. Soonyoung shakes his head, then leans in to press a chaste kiss to his lips, not saying anything back. Wonwoo stares at him, running his fingers through Soonyoung’s hair. They fall asleep, like they always do- Wonwoo on his back, arm cradling Soonyoung’s head, Soonyoung on his side next to him, curled into a ball with his face exactly where his home is, the curve between Wonwoo’s neck to his shoulder; just where he smells like vanilla.  
  
—

It doesn’t take much convincing afterwards- Soonyoung moves in with Wonwoo, after he’s thoroughly convinced by everyone that _he can’t pay the rent by himself._ He thanks God he never signed a lease and pays the rent he missed before, and a week later Wonwoo’s apartment becomes _their apartment._

He applies for a job for a foreign rock radio station at _Arirang Radio_ with the encouragement of Wonwoo and Jihoon, and finds out he gets it at the beginning of February. They hold a party.

If anyone had told him six months ago that he was going to be this happy, he probably would have laughed in their face– but the truth is, Soonyoung has never been this happy in his entire life. And it's not just having someone he loves, and having that someone love him back– it's loving himself, a little more, every day. It's acknowledging his own faults and fixing the things he can and accepting the things he can't. Most of all, it's talking to every stranger he bumps into. He's been lucky once before.

Things are good. Things are really, really good– and he has Wonwoo. Always weighing him down.

 

\-------------------

Soonyoung adjusts his microphone.

“Here’s a song request we just received for Valentine’s Day! Robert Plant dedicates [ _Our House_ ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fm-q0ELuk1A) by _Crosby, Stills Nash & Young _ to Jimmy Page. He says he’ll be home soon and that he misses Jimmy, Salt and Pepper very much.”

  _  
_ _Our house is a very, very, very fine house_

_With two cats in the yard,_

_Life used to be so hard,_

_Now everything is easy 'cause of you and our—_

 

_I'll light the fire, while you place the flowers_

_In the vase that you bought today._

**Author's Note:**

> DROPS MIC
> 
> im @kwonmp3 on twitter!!! TALK TO ME


End file.
